All I wanna say

It's raining heavily now, I've been stuck at home waiting to swim.

To make matters worse, I've just got confronted by a fellow friend, and frankly, I wasn't too happy to know that. Not only it's all of a sudden, the confrontation was so pointless it just upsets me to even listen.

I wouldn't mind being confronted all day long, you can even try everyday. But at least, get your facts right before shooting me? I wouldn't even know what you're talking about, and furthermore it just makes me angry to see you making false accusations without knowing what's actually going on. Sure your intention may be good but it isn't the way to do it. The confrontation would not only not go anywhere, it also makes you look like an idiot.

Gee, I can't believe I only have one paragraph for that, maybe it's a sign :D

Back to the conflict.
To be honest I don't know what am I fighting for? All those arguments, and finger pointing, what were those for? We were always arguing, with hopes to solve something, and it was never solved, I wonder why. But when I woke up this morning, I just thought to myself :

Why are we even fighting?

When I think of it there's no reason for us to even fight, why do we hold so much anger towards each other, I can even recall straying from the previous reason we argue every time we have an argument. Funny huh, how we make things complicated on our own, and how it never ends up getting solved. I don't even know how we make something out of nothing, and it turns out to be so big, at the end of the day, when you think back, it's just something silly. God.

Honestly, I'm just tired of doing this again and again, and what more can I do when it goes no where. Arguments were meant to come to a conclusion, but this? It's just going to go round and round and a solution will never appear. I don't even know what's this for but yeah I'm done repeating the cycle.

I've never regretted that day, if this is what it takes, to open my eyes wider, I'm so glad it happened. I had a very refreshing talk with Lyn the other day, and to my surprise, I really don't know what you are. How can I define you? Who are you!?

Sometimes you make me feel like it's possible for me to do everything, regardless of the situation. You're just what everyone wants in their lives. However, I realise you're more than that, there's something that I'm eager to know more about you. As the clock ticks, I just don't know who you are. There's no way of making up my own definition for you, I have yet to find out what you truly are.

You're love, and, as sad as it is, I don't know what is love. It really saddens me, I thought I knew, but I don't. But one thing's for sure, I know I have a heart because I can feel it breaking. If love doesn’t shatter you then you do not know love.

I used to think.

It hurts so much to love you the way I do, And then look at you and realize how much you don't care
All I want to do is sleep because it doesn't hurt when I can't think of you

Those were the words that walks and runs around my mind, making my head spin like crazzzzzy. I hate to say that ' I don't know '. But I really don't know what's going on in your mind. One minute we're alright, the next minute I'll be facing a person that holds so much rage towards me. Let me in, don't shut me out, what good does it do? Sometimes you don't want to hurt yourself, but little that you know you're hurting the people beside you. I can close my eyes to things I don't want to see but I can never close my heart to things I don't want to feel.

I have so much to say, but it'll all be pointless until your ears are opened for my whispers and your heart can accept the fact that I'm not here to hurt you, but to walk that same path along your side.