I feel like my life now has not turned to the direction I expected it to turn to. In 2011, there were thoughts about how my life would be when I start on my medical degree and I thought things will proceed as I think it would. However, I've never imagined that not planning for a different outcome would be so dreadful.
On the previous posts, I expressed my dissatisfaction about my idling situation. Looks like it just took another plunge.
It took me these 6 months to realise, sometimes things do not happen on its own. You have to pursue something for it to happen. I know I know, everyone probably knew this since they were born. But even so, for it to hit me in the face like this, the feeling is quite indescribable.
It's not as simple as achieving good results or getting a good body as a result of consistent workouts, it's something more abstract like connecting with people, friendships etc.
I feel like these things are very unpredictable. Sometimes it turns out in your favor, and sometimes it just doesn't turn out well. Question is whether the problem is on my end, or is it the others?
For example I've recently cut off connections with someone who I've known for quite some time, it saddens me but I'd rather not be taken for granted again and again.
How does it feel when someone only talks to you when they need your favor, and when you do help them out, you don't hear from them again until the next favor comes in?
Obviously, shitty.
I've ignored 'these doings' ( I've got no word to describe this ) and hoped that things would be better and that person could actually treat me as a proper friend. But recently the same thing repeated itself, and I just can't see myself going through that vicious cycle again. That doesn't fit in too well to my definition of a friend.
I don't know if I was being harsh but it took a lot of guts to actually confront that person. Not knowing whether it was the right thing to do or not, but it made me feel a little bit better, so I guess it was right in some way.
Even so, I still wish I didn't have to do that. Hah, I hate the fact that I can have mixed feeling after deciding on something. Probably solving my indecisiveness has to go in the list of new year resolutions.
No one likes to be taken for granted or taken advantage. And I'm sure for those who did so before, I'm pretty sure you don't like to be taken advantage as well.
So don't do things to others which you would not like to be done to you.
I don't know if this phase would pass soon, but I can only hope for the best. It's not like I enjoy being so pessimistic either (:
With that said, Happy New Year everyone and hope you get to reach the goals you set in this year 2012.