Presevere

Just one more week!

till I'm free again :D

Exams

Oh boy it's been 2 weeks since last post, my bad. I've been preparing for the long awaited AS Finals, it's gonna determine whether I get to pursue a medical degree or NOT :o

The whole exam drags throughout more than a month so you can kind of imagine how long it is considering I'm only sitting for 5 subjects.

I think I'm about to be engulfed by mixed feelings. I can't wait for the exam to end, at the same time, I'm afraid by the time it comes I'm not prepared.

On top of that, I tried to concentrate when I study, but I came across some notes where I scribbled her name all over them some time back, how's that for getting back on track?

Even so, it doesn't bug me though, I don't feel sad or anything, occasional flashbacks do happen, nothing else. Moreover, I think it's a bad time to think about all these so it's pretty unlikely for me to get involved in anything anytime soon.

I still mean what I said on the last line of the previous post :D

It's raining now, normally I would say ' at least I don't have to play under the heat ' but I really need that sort of thing now ._.

Will update pretty soon, stay tuned!

This marks the end of another chapter

Usually I blog about my relationships right after it ends, expressing my agony and feelings, mostly depressing thoughts. But this one, if I'd done the same, I'll never move on.




We started dating officially on the 26th of February. How it happened, it was pretty spontaneous. I was at my school prom, hoping to dance with plenty of girls that night.

As I finished my first dance, there I saw her sitting by the table all by herself. I walked up to her, and asked whether she'd like to dance. She accepted my invitation. We had one slow dance, it was pretty awkward at first, because it has been ages since we have not talked to each other.

I enjoyed every minute of the dance, back then I felt something good about her, something I could not describe with words. In my head I was thinking, go for her tzehao!.

And I did, we dated for about 2 months, then I spontaneously asked her to be my girlfriend. The following few months was something better than I'd ever imagine. There's too much to write here but believe me it was fantastic.



On the 8th of March 2010, she threw me a birthday party I'd never ever forget. That day was filled with mixed emotions. Sad, Surprised, Happy , Pissed you name it. Even today the whole scenario is still fresh in my mind.

We've done many other things together. I had a lot of ' My first times ' with her, exploring everything new that I've previously not been exposed to.

Everything was really great, in fact too good to be true. But then, I knew at one point, that we won't remain as those starry-eyed couples as life threw us many on-going problems to challenge us.

Furthermore, my exams were around the corner, I couldn't divide my attention as it was near impossible to do so. Eventually, on the 25th of August 2010, we broke up.

Believe me, I was devastated. I knew I was lost then because I was so emotionally dependent on her. But then again, who wouldn't be emotionally dependent on their partners?

I did my best to occupy myself then, being everywhere. And just when I thought I was doing fine coping with everything..



It was only a month plus after everything then. Whether it's true or not it doesn't matter I'll just talk about it anyway.

I had to be sure of it, I don't know why but I was obsessed with the idea of confirming it. But just as I was about to go too far, my 'Ji Mui' advised me. Given much thought, I stopped my foolishness.

In a relationship, I think we'd learn something, whether it is during/after it ends. I don't believe in being enemies after breaking up. Hence the blog post.

As a person, everything about her can be summarized into one word - Simple. Shirts and Shorts are what she would wear. It is the simplicity in her that I love. She was contented with the simple things she had in life. It made me realise that the happiest people don't have the best of everything, they just make the best of everything they have. She taught me to enjoy the simplest pleasures of life as it comes.

The funny part is that we're different in terms of language spoken. To make it simple I was HBO and she was ' Wah Lai Toi '. Thanks to her, I took the initiative to reconnect myself with my Chinese Roots.

She loves to laugh, so do I. Life can be tough at times, and when it is I get obsessed with this one black dot on a white paper. She taught me to focus on the white spaces instead of the black dot. ( if you get what I mean )

She gets pissed whenever I'm late, I always am. I became more punctual, for a change. Though, I still come late at times.

She introduced me to many new things, I tried many things I thought I'd never try.

I love to fight back and answer people. It is thanks to her that I learn to take a step back and let people walk through, it made things simpler.

And most important of all, she made me realise that a strong family bond is very important in a person's life. I'm blessed for having the privilege of having a close relationship with my siblings, and my parents.

The reason why I couldn't let go at first is pretty obvious. But now, after reminding myself ' if its meant to be, it's meant to be ' ,with much of a heavy heart, I'm finally ready to let go of her.

I don't have any reason to get mad at her.

In fact, I am thankful, for she has left a very precious memory in my life. A memory I would definitely look back upon.

I appreciate the things that she has done for me. And I can't thank her enough for making me a better person.

Though we're not exactly in good terms now, but I look forward to the day we talk again. :')

OH EM Gee

I'm running out of ideas for blog post titles, I guess I just haven't been out much, no idea how am I going to clear my mind and get new inspirations just by sitting at home and loving my books.

Heck I even went and search up guides to blog better, don't laugh cause it actually helps :o

So for those who are interested only, check out How To Blog Better

---

My sister and I were talking about having a BBQ party over dinner. So what the heck we did it anyway.

It was so last minute we only called 10 people or so. On top of that we only had about 1 day to prepare? We rushed to get the groceries with whatever spare time we had, marinated everything during the wee hours, and bam we made it.



I know I procrastinated to have this BBQ since Form 5 Trials man exactly a year ago :p So in a way I feel better I can finally tick that off my to-do-list.

Groceries weren't cheap, it sum up all to 300~400 plus? Not to mention the additional beers. We prepared way too much food to be munched down by 10 people, which then leads to SOS'ing people who had not eaten dinner to come.

So sorry for that last minute call by the way :p Anyway, it was a good dinner, and if given the chance to prepare everything not so in a rush, I would do it again, provided someone helps me this time ._.


Moving on, I came back to school, having new classmates joining the PM3 family. We had a Steamboat Dinner to welcome them to the family.

Zue and I

New classmates :D

Classmates that left us :D

Hmmm, I forgot what happened here

Imitating one of our classmates

Thats pretty much it for the class. I'm quite glad we have new people added in to the class cause we really lack people here in the class. In chinese we would go like ' em gao yan hei '.

They're shy, but slowly feeling a part of the family. At least I think that way. I'm really looking forward to get to know them more (:


I just found this guy, David Choi, an asian that has exceptional vocals! Do check him out.

Click on the picture if you wish to know more about him.



Ah the link to image works!

New look

Just something I thought I should share, it cheered me up tremendously. Thanks to my friend Zue for sending this to me. I love the third line and fourth line.



6 things you should realize after a break-up:

•Breaking up is either letting go of good one or kicking someone unworthy in your life.

•You lose a person because you deserve someone better.

•Love has its own reason, destiny has its own way, and karma has its own judgment..

•The one who cries the most is the one who loves the most.

•Time won’t heal the heartache but a new one will surely do.

•It’s the end of the relationship. NOT the end of your life.

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As you guys can see I just changed the entire template from pitch black to almost-suit-your-eyes purple

Happy ' 1 month '

I didn't realise how one month could just flew past me like that. I can't even imagine how I even managed to numb myself for the first two weeks. Till today, I don't think I'm completely over it, it still feels raw from time to time, it doesn't make sense at all.

At times part of me wants to run up to her and hug her and swing her around like we've never met in many years ; then another part of me says that now's not the time, or it'll backfire somehow.

Either way it's driving me nuts, stuck trying to make a difficult decision. I was pretty confident that I'd pick one of the two choices I had after giving it some thought, but then, something arise and there goes my chance to get the answer I longed for.

---

Anyway putting that aside, my holidays were fantastic!

I thought it would be good if I got 'super happening' all a sudden to get over this overwhelming depressing moment. I tried, only to find out that, it didn't really help much with recovering. When I'm around people, it doesn't cross my mind, but when it comes to the time when I'm alone, the thoughts alone can kill me.

Moreover, I realise that I was all over the place, I find it pretty silly, because I did not feel happy doing it either. Screwed up my sleeping hours, and kinda killed my body too.

So then I knew it was time that I have to stop all these foolishness just to be around people all the time. Not that I do not enjoy the privilege of having people around it's just that it feels different if it's not with your closest bunch of friends.









All the hits played were good, crowd kinda sucked though. I thought it was supposed to be Ladies Night, and instead it turned out to be a Men's Fest -_-

One table had at least 6 guys on it, what a bummer man. And what makes it better is that the table which had bunch of girls didn't even hit the dance floor ):

Oh well, other than that I couldn't remember a single thing, but what happens there stays there :D

The following days were not really interesting at all, it kinda became a routine for me to sleep till it's late in the evening and probably waste the day just like that. Until one day :o Eu Gene and I decided to conquer Broga, it doesn't sound too challenging doesn't it but we had nothing better to do.

Slept for two hours, hooked on the GPS and got some beer and off we went.



Believe me it was WAYYYYY DARKER than this, I could barely see the road as I was driving into the area. We got lucky because some humans reached after I parked the car. I thought we were alone.

The climbing was pretty challenging! I had an umbrella on one hand, and the icebox on the other and I still had to hold the torchlight. There were certain parts of the hill where you had to grab on to something in order to continue climbing, the safety ropes were broken, and I only saw a black patch when I looked forward.

Just when I realised it was a bad idea bringing the beers and ice pack along...



We REACHED! Just within 35 minutes of hiking. We were pretty excited we weren't late for the sunrise but the freaking area was so misty and I knew it was going to rain. We decided to wait a little longer before heading down and kept our fingers crossed that we might see that sunrise.



Nothing beats a chilled beer when you're so exhausted gasping for air. I SHIT YOU NOT, those advertisement don't lie. When you're extremely thirsty just go for a beer, screw water :D




Overall it was a good experience, I had to spend 35 minutes, hiking up this hill, just to find out I am physically unfit, and kinda dumb for not being practical enough ' eg : bringing beer up.

We had lunch at MCD because there was not many shops opened around Semenyih, but we could've died from hunger and exhaustion I swear :S

To be continued.. I'm not done updating but enjoy reading (:

Expression

I just got over the fact that a person very dear to me asked me to shut down my blog due to privacy issues and all. I was really demotivated to blog because of that, and even after it didn't bug me after awhile, I eventually just got lazy to update. When I thought about it, I realised, there isn't much of a substance here to be used against me, nor does it expose anything that's not supposed to be exposed.

Moving on, I get questioned a lot about why I'd always 'put my soul' on the blog whenever I post up something new. The thing is, sometimes I see people going through tough times, what they do is that they try to keep it to themselves in a small little bubble, and tank everything that hits them. And by the time they realise that they can't handle all of that pain, they erupt or even collapse.

In my case, expressing what I feel and all, has been an outlet for me. I feel so much better when I do so, even if I don't write about it, I'd talk about it. What's the point of letting that thought run around your mind like a bloody roadrunner and not do something about it?

Because of this form of outlet, I started to enjoy writing about my thoughts, voice out about something, love presenting something, anything that involves saying something. It made me feel good, just planting something from the mind to words. Eventually it became my passion, nothing's going to stop me, from blogging, no matter how controversial the post may be, how shitty it maybe, because I blog to express, not to impress.

Relationship 101

In most relationships, it always end with someone letting out the bomb. What I meant by bomb?

BOMB : everything you've done wrong, everything they're not happy about, everything they can't get used to.

These bombs are solely the reason why the relationship ends! And mostly the bombs are kept to swipe one person in one short at the very last moment. Not only does the person have no time to prepare for it, that person just gets washed away.

People just gotta stop doing this! I mean seriously, isn't a relationship about where 2 people share their opinions and thoughts and feelings with one another.

Voicing out when there's something they don't agree on. Letting their partner know how they truly feel. At least letting their partner know what disturbs them, aggravates them.

It's all a process. A process of getting to understand each other, to know the do's and don'ts.

Eventually understanding becomes the base of a relationship.

What GOOD does it give when you hide everything to yourself. Not only your problems build up, your partner don't even know nuts. Moreover, you're just going to drown in that pool of problems. And then when it's time to confront them, you explode, you can't take it, and you let it out on the partner, which obviously was waiting for you to mend things the whole time.

Partner's should be given the chance to know how you actually feel. Even if when it's their wrongdoing, they deserve a chance to know, and then decide on how to mend it. It's unfair to just throw one big load to them out of the blue. That's just being unreasonable.
And it's probably one of the reason why hatred was born from break-ups.

Anyway, talking about mending things sounds so rigid-ish. But believe me, nothing's more important than talking about disagreements and other problems in a relationship and fixing them. Not only you get to understand each other, you might even find out something new about them.

Is that too much to ask for, even for a better, stronger relationship? Why make people suffer from your selfishness, inconsiderate actions, when things could be much better off?

Opinions

I miss the feeling of having a handful of emotions needed to be let out right away. I wouldn't say I'm back for good since I suddenly felt like venting.

Life's been good, everything's going well now. I really feel I need a new design for the blog, still figuring out what to do with it though, and not to mention a new web address :o

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I think it's pretty obvious that people generally have their own opinion on anything in the world. As a matter a fact, I do too.

Since we're not the only person in this planet, opinions towards a certain something tend to vary from a person to another.




Take this glass for example

Some of us might see it as half full or maybe even half empty. That's how different our thinking are from one another.

I'm hot
No, you look horrible

I'm slim
No you're underweight

Our opinion differ so much from each other that sometimes we do not agree with one another, that's how arguments happen ( as if that isn't obvious enough ) Clashing of opinions are always solved by compromising with one another.

Unfortunately, some people tend to impose their beliefs on others. I always believe that everyone is entitled to their own opinion, and we should respect an individual's opinion.

Just because, you can accept something that you consider a norm, that does not mean others can see things the way you do. You should just accept the fact that others do not agree with how you view certain things instead of expecting them to comply with what you think is right

Maybe, if people would just keep their ego and 'self denial' in their pockets, things would be so much more simple.

Compassion

I find it amusing when people continue to surprise me again and again. How do they even become such a pain in the ass.

You know sometimes how people can really pissed the hell out of you. Not just once, but multiple times although you didn't do anything to them. I always have this idea about how ignorance is bliss but then again the more you ignore them the more they come back at you.( oh crap this sounds like me )

To cut it short, I kinda had issues with this A, I left A alone, and now A is back finding fault again, but this time, it's quite different, I don't know how, I don't know why but it shouldn't involve more than just the two of us. Blah I don't really do the whole POINT FINGER CRAP cause it's just so redundant :D

However, despite how much of an asshole these people can be, I realise that we should feel more compassion for the people who gets on our effing bloody nerves. Maybe, just maybe they've got ADD. But then again, who knows right? Instead of complaining about how similar they are to a shithole, we should just embrace their idiocy when its at it's best.

Ever since King's Confectionery in Taipan have their regular 50% discounts on most things, I've been indulging myself in lots and lots and lots of DONUTS :D




Looks darn mouth watering right? OMG I'm joining the fat club, I have this tummy growing here, it's becoming my love pot :D
But concerning blood circulation? It's all good since I have irritating people all over making my blood boil XD

Happy Tiger Year

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR


Hey people :D I KNOW this blog have been bloody dead for so long! Even after saying that I'll update countless times. BUT don't worry, tomorrow I'll be back blogging! For real :D

So I hope to see you tomorrow * stares at FEEDJIT * Take care!

Clean and cleaner and most of all very clean :D

I'm doing some cleaning up, playing around with the export and import blog, so, fear not, I'll be back updating soon enough :D